It's About Time for a Family Meal

Someone shared this with me, and I'm happy to share it with my readers...

It’s About Time for a Family Meal

by Jolene Philo

Family mealtime is important. In fact, its importance is becoming clearer as modern families abandon the practice of eating together. Therefore, even though mealtime and menus were addressed in the December column, I am revisiting the topic. This month the focus is on why eating together is crucial for you and your children.

Mealtime Truth Observed

Family meals added structure to my own life. They were the center of my childhood. Three times a day we gathered at the table even though my mother taught full time. We ate together for two reasons. First, it was economical and money was tight on a teacher’s salary. Second, mealtime provided company for my disabled, homebound father.

So we ate cornflakes together at breakfast. Dad fixed cold sandwiches for lunch. Mom fixed a hot supper though by age ten, my siblings and I could do the same. We talked and joked around the table. The look on Dad’s face during meals told us they were the highlight of his day. He loved to eat, but this was about more than food. Just as family meals provided structure in my childhood, our presence at the table gave structure and meaning to his very long days.

My childhood experiences were so strong that as a mom, I insisted on a family meal every day. Some nights, when my husband worked the evening shift, the kids and I ate without him. Some nights, when I had late meetings at school or attended a conference, they ate without me. Sometimes, breakfast or lunch was the only time we could eat together, so that’s what we did. But every day, there was a family meal.

It wasn’t always easy and it wasn’t always perfect, but the impact of that practice was clear when our college daughter came home from her freshman semester in December. Though she hung out with friends, she scheduled her holiday activities around supper. “I want to eat with you,” she said. “That’s what I missed most at college.”

Mealtime Truth Proven

Recently I read Miriam Weinstein’s book, The Surprising Power of Family Meals (Steerforth Press, 2005). The author presents reasons for the decline of family mealtime. Most of them you can probably guess: parents’ work schedules, kids’ activity schedules, television and divorce. She lists the benefits of mealtime cited in a number of research studies. The benefits include:

o Lower incidences of smoking, drug use and teen pregnancy

o Positions children to do better in school

o Passes down of ethical, familial and religious heritage

o Lowers rates of eating disorders and obesity

o Builds children’s literacy, vocabulary and conversational skills

o Teaches mannerso Promotes resilience in children

o Promotes enjoyment of other family members

That’s quite a list. Weinstein never states that family mealtime guarantees these benefits. But she suggests that making adjustments so a family can eat together is an investment with the potential for high yields.

The book includes study results and anecdotal incidents that strengthen her position. She examines two parent and single parent families, as well as different socio-economic levels and cultures. Though her roots are in Judaism, she explores the importance of family mealtime in several faiths, including Christianity. Her insights make the book worthwhile reading.

Mealtime Truth Applied

But my subjective observations and Weinstein’s objective study results can’t do anything without action from parents like you. As a mom, especially as a work-at-home mom, you can give your children the gift of a family mealtime that will reap benefits for the rest of their lives.

As my family history shows, doing so isn’t always easy and it isn’t perfect, but it can be done. Here are the strategies that helped our family eat together at least once a day:

o Plan your meals ahead of time.

Be flexible. If your husband works evenings, eat breakfast or lunch together. If he gets home in late evening before the kids go to bed, have a family snack time.

o Take the television set out of the room where you eat.

o Limit the number of activities your children participates in at any one time to free up time for family meals.o Complain to those in charge when your kids’ activities are scheduled during mealtime.

o Have a family scheduling meeting once a week. Write all activities on one calendar. Then schedule mealtime for when the most family members can be home.

o Have the kids help plan menus, prepare meals and set the table. The more they’re involved, the more they’ll be invested in mealtime.When your family sits down to eat, begin take a moment to share spiritual food with your family before digging in. Bow your heads and offer a blessing. When you thank the Father who gives you food to eat, children to nurture, a family to love and a Savior who guides, mealtime blessings multiply.

Always remember that you are the mom. You have the power to make each family mealtime a blessing. By eating together each day, you will send those blessings forward into the lives of your children, their children, and their children’s children.

Kind of gives you an appetite for a family meal, doesn’t it?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jolene Philo is a freelance writer and speaker who lives in Boone, Iowa. She shares her house and her home office with her husband Hiram, daughter Anne, and dachshund Abby. You can learn more about her at her website, www.jolenephilo. com.